Clay Bird's Journal

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Grrrrrr.
I am ready to go Office Space on my printer.

*fumes*

My printer needed ink. 4 cartridges, CMYK. C and K needed to be replaced, M and Y were almost there. So I replaced all 4. Printer utility tells me that all 4 inks are full. Woohoo! Printed a test run, Magenta head was only half working. cleaned the heads 3 times, each test pattern was a little bit better but still a ways to go. On the 4th head cleaning attempt, the printer utility tells me I need to - get this - replace the Magenta ink, because it's empty. And the Cyan. And the Yellow. And now the fucker won't print at all. Despite the brand new ink that I got today.

This is getting to me.

R.I.P., Bethany
32 is too young to die.

A friend of mine passed away last night, due to internal injuries suffered in a scooter accident earlier in the day while on vacation in Bermuda. I only hope that her children didn't see it happen. She was a wonderful person, and I will miss her.

She had faith in her religion and a kind of sick sense of humor, so I think she would have appreciated both the memorial candle I still have burning downstairs, and the fact that I was toasting marshmallows over it earlier.

Current Mood: Calm and sad

Dangerous Beauty
A billboard featuring sultry model Jessiqa Pace on the racetrack at the Monaco Grand Prix had to be taken down after it proved too distracting to Formula 1 drivers over the weekend. Pace, 29, appears in the campaign for Martini, the Italian winemaker founded in 1863 and famous for its iconic vermouth.

F1 team representatives asked for the posters to be taken down after drivers complained during trial runs; champ Lewis Hamilton crashed in Saturday's qualifying round close to the gigantic image of Jessiqa. "All the attention is overwhelming," she told the London Daily Star. "I find it really funny. Obviously it's very flattering that I'm distracting the drivers so much, but I'd feel terrible if someone got hurt."

Original Article Here

Some things, you just can't make up.

The Scientific Method on Male/Female roles in society
Today I had a conversation with someone who has some very different ideas than I do about gender roles in modern society.

While I disagree with his ideology, that's not what I want to complain about right now. My issue (for this post) is with his methodology.

His opinion is based upon the observation that at ~age 5, kids who are raised in a non-gender-biased household seem to go virtually overnight from doing everything regardless of gender roles to being gender polarized, saying "But that's something that girls do! I don't want to do that, I'm a boy!" His conclusion is that this clearly demonstrates that a change takes place at that age, and that that change proves that males and females are built/wired differently and that that kind of change is just inherent. Based upon that conclusion, he is certain that even in the absence of such a biased upbringing (and we had trouble establishing whether the kid was indeed raised biased, because even if the home life was unbiased the rest of the world sure was) the kid would, at about that age, decide that there were certain things that they were and were not supposed to do.

My contention is that the behavior is more analogous to an earthquake, which has a lot of silent buildup and then tumultuous results: Despite the home in which the kids grow up in, they exist in a society where there are very deep differences between the roles assigned to men and to women, and that information is all observed and absorbed. At some point, they reach a level of self-awareness where they decide that that set of rules must apply to them, and a sudden paradigm shift takes place, resulting in polarized behavior. Based upon that, I suspect that if the kids were raised in an unbiased (or, if that's not possible in this world without putting together a Truman Show-esque setup, at least a *differently* biased) environment, then at that point where self-awareness kicks in at that level and the children decide that social gender roles apply to them, the kids would act *differently* than the first group of kids, in accordance with whatever roles they had observed growing up. Based upon the difference in behavior correlating with the difference in bias, I would be able to conclude whether or not there was an inherent male/female behavior, or jsut an affinity for conforming to the observed behaviors.

Thoughts?

Halloween goodness

and one of my carvings:

The other was an elephant, carved in a white pumpkin - white elephant, right? - will post later.

Raaaawr!
Step 1. Jazz Hands

Step 2. Fosse Hands

Step 3. Left Hand Jazz, Right Hand Fosse

Step 4. Right Hand Jazz, Left Hand Fosse

Switch... Switch... Switch... Switch...

Now throw your head back and Raaaawr!

Result: T. Rex hands!

Note: For extra comedic effect, instead of a full-bodied Raaaawr, give a little piddly one, like any movie depiction of a dinosaur that has *just* emerged from its egg. Maaaawr!

Current Mood: amused

Grilling question
I've been using my grill mainly as a rotisserie since I replaced the gas line and got it working again, but have started also making chicken on the grill itself. Lamb on the rotisserie takes an hour and a half with the rear burner at full. I used to know what temperature that was, but the arm has fallen off of the built-in thermometer so I'm not sure what that brings the temp up to inside the cooking space.

I was thinking that there ought to be some way to add the chicken part way through the lamb's cooking time so that they both finish at the same time, right? Put the lamb in for a period of time, then add the chicken at some position on the grill (not too far, not too close, right?) and continue cooking the lamb. After a while, flip and rotate the chicken, and then everything finishes at the hour-and-a-half mark.

Naturally, since the 5# leg of lamb weighs a lot more than the chicken thighs, the thighs won't need as much time... on the other hand, the rotisserie burner is above the grill isntead of below it, so this would be a big indirect heating question, much like normal baked chicken. So... suggestions?

In the 1.5 hours that the lamb is cooking, the outside temperature makes it up to about 170 and the core gets up to about 130. (I always test with a meat thermometer to make sure nothing has gone drastically wrong before I take it off the grill). Alas, as I said, I don't know what the effective oven temperature ends up as, because the thermometer lost its needle.

Sonnet Or Die
In honor of the Sonnet Battle at MDRF tomorrow, here is one of my favorites:

Sonnet Or Die

A man with a gun to my head wants a sonnet
And if I don't write one he'll blow me away
I better start writing. I'd better get on it
If I want to live till the end of the day.
Poetry's tricky. Perhaps I should steal one.
From Milton or Shakespeare, Frost or de Vere
But maybe the man with the gun wants a real one
By me, and not copied from somewhere like here.
So maybe it's best if I do my own writing
Not ask other people to do it for me.
I'll do it myself. It's kind of exciting
Not knowing a word of my poem-to-be.
He looks impatient. Time's running out fast.
Each word, each line, each breath may be my last.

--G. Tony Jacobs

Current Mood: amused

Don't buy into the lie

Signal boost from

sunspiral. Just a reminder: Any image you see selling beauty has probably been altered. Don't buy in to an unreal ideal that was created just to build a market for products that won't even make you look like that. You're already more beautiful than you think you are.

Ruminations on Relationships
Today is Yom Kippur, the traditional "Day of Atonement" where we Members of the Tribe fast for a day and take that time to think about what we've done in the past year, and try to finish making amends for any wrongs we may have done, or been perceived to have done. Coincidentally, I stayed up very late last night talking with a friend about, among other things, relationships, and I felt the following thoughts worth sharing:

When you are in a relationship, be in *that* relationship, not a previous one. Too many people that I know hop from one pseudo-commitment to the next, never healing from one before starting another. They never devote appropriate time to introspection and, if something within them needs to be changed, working to change it. Far too often, people in this situation then spend the next relationship trying to fix the problems of the previous one, which goes badly for two reasons: Those problems aren't (necessarily) even present in this new relationship, and the mentality of being stuck on old problems gives rise to all kinds of new problems in the now-relationship. If those new problems don't get fixed - and old issues that no longer apply aren't relegated to "lessons learned and wisdom gained" - then a lack of attention to what is going on NOW, with the person that is the other half of THIS relationship, will doom the cycle to repeat.

If you do something wrong, learn from it, and don't do it again. Take the time to heal, become the slightly (or not-so-slightly) different person that you wish you were, and THEN try it again. But don't try to do all of these steps at once, or you run the risk of tripping over yourself and taking another fall, and doing damage to not only yourself, but whoever is in the new situation with you.

How do you know when it's not stupid to try again? Take careful note of how you react to things going on around you. If you're reacting to those things on their own merits, that's a good sign. If you're reacting to them based on baggage you haven't let go of yet, then you need to spend some more time working on who you are, and healing from whatever happened before. There will be repeated breakthroughs, and each time you might think, "There! I'm better, now!" When that happens, don't dash off at full speed. Take honest stock of where you are, mentally and emotionally, and realize that while you may have improved, and may be better, there might still be a ways to go until you are well. it's like recovering from a physical injury: You notice the improvements and can say, "Wow, I'm so much better than I was," which will be true, but that will happen a lot of times before you're all healed. Be honest with yourself... otherwise you do yourself, and everyone around you, a great disservice.

This concludes this morning's broadcast. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Monday.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Arrrrr!
Arrrrr, and avast! Today do be Interrrrrrrnational Talk Like A Pirate Day. Honor it, prrrrroclaim it, and behave accorrrrrdingly.

And an extrrrrrra-joyous day to those who have been touched by His Noodly Appendage.

Digital Independance
We can pretty much all flick someone off without thinking about the gesture much. You make a fist of some sort, and extend your middle finger, which you can operate independently of the other fingers. But can you make the identical gesture with your ring finger? WITHOUT your pinky coming along for the ride? There are reasons dealing with both neurobiology and musculature/mechanics that make it difficult for some.

Can you do it?

Poll #1459221 Read between the lines; or, The Wrong-Finger Salute
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 31

I can make the gesture with my LEFT ring finger

View Answers

yes
19 (61.3%)

no
12 (38.7%)

I can make the gesture with my RIGHT ring finger

View Answers

yes
21 (70.0%)

no
9 (30.0%)

(Cheating - that is to say, helping your pinky via external means - doesn't count.)

Oh, and to all my fellow members of the Tribe, Shana Tova!

Self-deprecating humor
There was a debate today at work over whether self-deprecating humor was a good thing, neutral, or a negative thing. I heard, for the first time, the opinion that over a long enough period of time, self deprecation might cause a person to actually adopt a negative view of themselves.

Thoughts?

Brilliant product concept
If Snapple decides to branch out their fruit products further than just juice, they need to start with "Snapplesauce", the Snapple brand of applesauce. This should be made available in all the same flavors as their current product line.

Remember, you heard it here first.

Sometimes I despise being a homeowner
For reasons I haven't yet investigated, my washing machine decided to vomit water upon the floor of the basement last night when doing a load of wash. The good news is that a) it was clean water, not sewage, and b) it was only enough to make the carpets squelch, but not more than that. The obnoxious part, though, is a) that it happened at all, b) that it now smells musty in the basement and main level because of the wet carpet pad, and c) I have to dry it, d) fix it, and e) make the place ready to host Bridge on Saturday.

*stamps foot*

*squelch*

Current Mood: grumpy

Me and my "Priestly Garb"
I have just learned from my awesome roommate that my preferred weekend lounging-around-the-house clothes (boxers and a t-shirt) can easily be classified as me wearing the God-decreed Priestly Garb that Aaron and his sons were commanded to wear when performing their religious duties.

Exodus 28:42. Check it out.

Current Mood: Entertained

Elevators, Crosswalks, and Buttons, Oh, My!
Poll #1443762 The elevator, it goes up and down!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 37

When I get to the elevators...

View Answers

I only push the up/down button if it isn't already lit (I mean, what woulkd be the point?)
22 (61.1%)

I push the button regardless of whether it's been pushed before (Makes it come faster, y'know!)
4 (11.1%)

Not only do I push it again, I do so every so often just to make sure the hamster brain running the thing doesn't forget about me!
5 (13.9%)

Totally depends on whether or not I have to pee, and the elevator is between me and the bathroom... or something like that. I'll just say "Depends"
5 (13.9%)

And when the elevator finally gets to me...

View Answers

it dings once for "going up" and twice for "going down"
6 (17.6%)

It dings twice for "going up" and once for "going down"
0 (0.0%)

I've never noticed whether the number of dings indicates or correlates to anything. Why, should I have?
28 (82.4%)

When I get to a crosswalk where there's a "WALK" button...

View Answers

When I get there, I hit the button.
3 (8.3%)

If there's nobody there, I hit the button. If there's someone there, I assume they already hit the button, and just wait.
3 (8.3%)

Even if someone's there, I hit the button - but if there were a light to show it'd been pushed already, I wouldn't.
16 (44.4%)

Not only do I hit the button, but if it takes too long I'll hit it again. You know, the hamster brain running the thing forgot about me.
5 (13.9%)

I get there and smack that button every few seconds until the lights change.
3 (8.3%)

Button, bah! I'm jaywalking.
6 (16.7%)

Elevators and crosswalks. Hm.

View Answers

It's funny that I'm more patient at crosswalks than at elevators
2 (5.6%)

I'd say I'm more patient at elevators than at crosswalks
10 (27.8%)

Each ought to give me instant gratification. As Indigo Montoya said, "I hate waiting." I have no patience at either!
6 (16.7%)

I'm in no hurry... I'm pretty relaxed at both
7 (19.4%)

I'm in a hurry, but my intellect governs my frustration, and I still only hit the button once.
11 (30.6%)

And, since it's Friday:

View Answers

The acronym "So Happy It's Thursday!" makes me happy, 'cause it's both subtle and naughty
11 (30.6%)

The pun in the 4th option for question #1 above made me groan when I read it
14 (38.9%)

I missed the pun in the 4th option for question #1 above, but now that you've pointed it out, *GROAN!*
14 (38.9%)

Thank goodness it's Friday!
17 (47.2%)

Clicky!
22 (61.1%)

Weight loss & excercise filter: Results!
Climbing twice a week pretty reliably: Check!
Controlling food intake by counting & recording Weight Watchers points: Check!
Walking more: Check!
Excercising other than walking & climbing: In process.
Getting restful sleep: CHECK!!

Weight has been doing interesting fluctuating things between the lower food intake, drinking more water, getting REAL sleep on the CPAP machine, and presumably building some muscle as I re-gain ground on the rock climbing wall, but the results are in: I'm down to the next smallest hole on my belt.

*pumps fist*